Personal posts about Ali Cross, including personal insights, stories, family, etc.
Recently I read You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. It was awesome! It’s not rocket science, or anything you haven’t heard before, but she shared the information in a way that really resonated with me. (Maybe I need a drill sergeant cursing at me to get me to sit up and take notice. What does that say about me? Hmm.)
One of the things Jen says we should do is visualize. Heard that before. But there’s a disconnect between my goals and the realization of said goals. Even though I’m a very hard worker—one of the hardest I know. So, I’m kicking off my new year with dreams and wishes in pictures. I’m claiming my future and visualizing it so I can fully realize these dreams one day.
Many writers require very specific environments in order for the words to flow. I’m not really like that, but I certainly can’t deny that certain things feed my imagination.
This, my friends, is where I want to write. I want to live in a home near a mountain lake, with windows that open to the world outside. I want library shelves and a big comfy chair that I can curl up in or drape over with a cozy sherpa throw. Because reading is mana for a writer, and to be surrounded by books and mountains and trees and water? Heaven. Then on the other side of the window, I’d have my desk. A beautiful, unique desk that makes me feel special to sit at it.
Reading and writing go hand in hand, and this is the space where I want to do both.
I’d love to see YOUR vision boards, too! Share links to your Pinterest board or blog post and I’ll come check it out! Happy New Year!
All the furniture came from http://www.Arhaus.com
Athens Library: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/living-room-furniture/living-room-bookcases-and-cabinets/athens-library-in-tuxedo-black/
Arc Floor Lamp: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/lighting/floor-lamps/arc-floor-lamp/
Martin Rectangle Trunk End Table: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/living-room-furniture/end-tables/martin-20-inch-rectangle-trunk-end-table/
Wessex Leather Tufted Chair: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/living-room-furniture/chairs-and-chaises/wessex-56-inch-leather-tufted-chair-in-bronco-whiskey/
Wessex Leather Tufted Ottoman: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/living-room-furniture/ottomans/wessex-32-inch-leather-tufted-ottoman-in-bronco-whiskey/
Portier Writing Desk: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/home-office-furniture/writing-desks/portier-writing-desk/
Addy Upholstered Tufted Desk Chair: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/home-office-furniture/office-chairs/addy-upholstered-tufted-desk-chair-in-samantha-sand/
James Table Lamp: https://www.arhaus.com/furniture/lighting/table-lamps/james-table-lamp/
Find these pieces at http://www.Arhaus.com. Take a look at their living room pieces for even more inspiration!
No, no, I don’t think I’ve ever heard these words said to ME. Even when I was young, super short and sporty, I was always curvy, or athletic. No, these words are said to my sons, all the time. By friends, kids at school, even teachers and leaders.
It seems harmless, right?
But I’m on my soapbox to tell you, IT IS NOT HARMLESS.
Would you walk up to someone and say, “You’re so fat”? Of course not. We learned a long time ago that wasn’t okay.
But skinniness. That’s totally different, right? Doesn’t everyone want to be skinny?
Actually, no. Especially not teenage boys. Or men. No man wants to be skinny. He wants to be strong, which often means “big”—which is definitely not seen as skinny.
I want to get on my pedestal today and say,
Just quit commenting on BODY, already.
Find something else, something more meaningful to say about a person if you feel the need to say something. I’ll give you some ideas:
“You always put me at ease.”
“You have the best smile.”
If you HAVE to say something more superficial, try…
“Dude, your hair looks awesome today!”
“Lookin’ sharp, man!”
Thing is, boys have body images, too. And skinny just hurts a young man’s heart when all he wants is to appear strong and healthy and virile.
Please watch your words next time you’re talking to a young man. Remember there’s a growing, impressionable, and so, so eager to be a man, person in there.
And young men?
If you want to read more thoughts on this subject, particularly as it pertains to women and girls, check out this awesome article.
So. Much. Going. On. Where in the world do I start?
- Enrolled our boys in a private school for the next two years.
- Became a Permanent Cosmetics technician, joined a salon (find me on FB!)
- Started to sell our house/buy a new house, then changed our minds.
- Found out David’s not out of the woods with his cancer and has to have more PET scans and more. Next week is FULL of appointments.
- Found out Xander has Post Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).
- Found out Xander has an immune deficiency.
- Found out Charlie is allergic to barley.
- Started a publishing company where we will adapt traditional books for the special needs teens and adults. (find us on FB!)
- Hired writers, an editor, art director, lawyer and more for Ash Books.
- Started work on a new book!
- Have been seriously procrastinating working on the new book.
- Xander started gamma globulin infusions today, which he’ll get every three weeks, possibly for the rest of his life.
- David presented an amazing bit of technology he created for hackers and Alexa at Black Hat.
- I’ve gained weight.
- And I want MORE chocolate. And marshmallows.
What about you? What’s new with YOU?
It’s time for presents, ya’ll!
Comment to win a signed copy of any one of my books! Sorry, far-away friends, I can only ship to the US this time. Mama’s livin’ on a dime these days!
Good luck and Happy Birthday to Me!
I’ve been waiting for this week to come for a few months now. I’m scared out of my mind. I’m trying something new. Something that might blow up in my face. Or, I might discover something I truly enjoy and a way to bless other people, too. Sorry for being vague, but … what if it doesn’t work out? What if I hate it, or I’m no good at it? I really want to be good at it.
So. I’m taking a chance, folks. Taking a risk. And if you’re thinking about trying something new, too? Take my advice…
Back in the day it was all about CLUBS. When I was a kid, my friends and I were constantly coming up with new clubs we could make and then be “members” of. I’m sure it was all a ploy to help us feel popular. But don’t we all want that? No matter how old we are?
I write books and throw them out into the world, and sometimes the silence is deafening. Sometimes, being an author can be tremendously lonely.
So I decided to do what I did as a kid and make my own club! And anyone can join! And I’ll do my best to make everyone feel welcome and like they belong!
There’s only one catch – it’s all about me!
Haha, no it’s not really, but it s a FAN club, built around my books. Members of my club will be the first to learn of new releases, have the chance to win early copies and lots of other ali-awesomeness. We ALSO have weekly giveaways! Sometimes the prize is one of my eBooks, sometimes an eBook I particularly enjoyed.
This week, the prize is your choice of one of these books (some of which are autographed!).
So click the button below to become a member of my exclusive awesome fan club! Hope to see you there!
P.S. I apologize to those of you who subscribe to my blog AND to my newsletter, as this is a direct duplicate. I just really wanted to invite EVERYONE to my little club and I like how I wrote it for the newsletter so … there you go! 😛
I published my first book, Become, in 2011. I loved it, believed in it, but I was also ashamed of it.
There are some swears in there. Some sexual situations. Drug use, alcoholism, threat of suicide. The devil and demons play big roles and God is nowhere to be seen.
What would people think of it? What would people think of ME?
One time I was at a book fair and when someone asked me about my book, I actually said, “Well, it’s not for everyone.” Of course it’s not for everyone—no book is! But here I was, apologizing for my book to a potential reader. Of course she didn’t buy it. I don’t think anyone bought it that day. Why would they?
That was almost six years ago and believe it or not, I only just allowed myself to release that shame, freeing me to truly love the story I told in the Desolation series.
So here’s what happened. I went to an excellent local writers’ conference where I took a class from the Queen of Dark herself, Mercedes M. Yardley. She writes dark stories. She has embraced the kind of stories she needs to tell and she owns them. She feels no shame. As I listened to her and understood her message, I felt the burden of my own shame lift and lift and just … fly away, like dust in the wind.
I know why I wrote Become. I wrote it for those who have fallen so low they don’t recognize themselves anymore. For them—there’s hope. It’s never too late to choose who you will become. I wrote it for those who feel trapped by a life designed by someone else. For them—no one controls you. No one decides your destiny but you. I wrote it for all of us who have ever been ashamed of who we were and thought no one could accept us. For us—there’s love and forgiveness. It’s never too late.
It’s long past time for me to embrace the theme of the Desolation series. To own the dark in me, as we all have it. To own the light and the hope that I put into all my stories, no matter how dark they might seem at times.
Hang out on my Instagram (or, really…everywhere I am) for any length of time and you’ll see that I’m madly in love with my little dog, Rocky. My sons joke that in the case of a fire, I’d save him instead of them–to which I reply they are nearly seventeen years old and can save themselves, while Rocky is a helpless little buddy with itty bitty legs. He needs me.
But the truth is, I need him.
He hasn’t been officially trained to be a service dog, but he provides me service every single day. He knows when my ME/CFS/FM is flaring, when my pain is high or my energy low. He lies with his warm, soft body pressed against mine and just breathes. His steady, deep breathing eases my own, calms my mind, and helps me to get the kind of restorative rest I need.
I love him with all my heart. Okay, there’s some room in there for my sons, and hubby, too. Room for everyone! Somehow, Rocky helps with that, too. He’s a miracle is what he is.
I love this infographic on all the benefits of owning a dog. Because, find the right furry friend and you’ll not only be happier, but healthier, too. I am a believer! Are you? Tell me about your doggies–bonus for pictures! And if you haven’t found your “one” yet, check out PuppySpot.com.
There’s lots of talk about “super moms”. Women tell each other, “Wow, you’re a real super mom” when they hear someone else speak of all they do for their children. It’s not a put-down…necessarily. But it’s not always a compliment, either. Or rather, it’s one of those two-faced compliments.
One face is saying, “you’re doing a great job!” while the other face is saying, “I don’t do all that stuff for my kids and I get angry–I bet she never gets angry–and I screw up all the time and look how nice she looks when I’m just wearing yoga pants and haven’t put on any makeup. Man. I suck! I’m the worst mom ever!”
Few women would ever dare say, “I’m a super mom!” Who would have the guts? Who would even think that? Especially right after Mother’s Day when every mom everywhere is recovering from a day of guilt and shame and doubt.
Yet, I have the nerve to declare in my bio that I, Ali Cross, am a Super Mom.
Because I get tons done in a day? Because I am raising perfect children who are always showered, teeth brushed, dressed impeccably? Because my children get straight A’s, are never late for school, never miss school, are never sick in a day? Because I cook healthy dinners, pack delicious lunches and feed my children healthy breakfasts every day?
I am a Super Mom because I care. Because I am doing all I can, every day, to love and serve and help. Because I worry. Because I am grateful for the two beings I am entrusted with.
I am not perfect. Oh, there are so many, many ways in which I am not perfect. But …
I AM a Super Mom … and so, my friend, are you.