Do you ever go through periods when you don’t feel like yourself? Not your best, not happy, not relaxed in your own skin? Well that’s been me for a while now. I know exactly the reason, just not the cause.
The reason, was I’d lost my connection to God. Not everyone needs that connection, but I really do. I always have, since I was a little girl and had those tea parties with Jesus. Sadly, Jesus doesn’t join me for tea parties anymore–life might be a whole lot easier if He did.
No, now that I’m all grown up, things are a bit more complicated. Isn’t that just the way of life? Everything is more complicated. Or at least it feels like it.
Anyway, I haven’t felt the Spirit in my day-to-day life, which means I haven’t felt peace or comfort deep in my core. I haven’t felt comfortable saying my prayers, which means I haven’t been able to meditate over the blessings and challenges in my life, leaving my heart and mind befuddled.
The end result? An ali that’s a bit out of wack. A little less cheerful, a little less easy-going, a little less free.
The cure, like so many things in this grown-up life, is just to start doing the things things that draw myself closer to God, even if it feels stupid, silly, pointless, boring or even discouraging. There are many ways to worship God, to draw nearer to Him–scripture study, prayer, church attendance, temple attendance, service … I’m sure there’s more, too. I needed to start with the basic stuff, the easy stuff: One prayer, at the end of my day. Trying to recognize the Spirit in my life each day–just one moment. I also tried to find something pray about each day.
The first thing I noticed was how my attitude changed when I paid attention to times when I felt the Spirit. Guess what I discovered? You can feel God in almost any moment if you’re looking for Him. On my morning walks along the canal. In a moment with my son. Or even a snuggly moment with my dog! (Have you seen my dog? The cutest little bud ever.) Point is, God is everywhere, I just had to open my eyes, or rather my heart.
Next, I felt more compassion growing in my heart when I tried to find things to pray about. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I found other people to pray for, rather than myself. Which was a switch because my prayers before this had been pretty much “thankful for … blah blah blah/please bless … blah blah blah.” As in, Me, Me, Me.
Guess what I discovered? Praying is a lot easier to do, and a lot more enjoyable, when you pray for someone else and you’re somewhat prepared before you pray. My prayers have become a lot more meaningful, and have felt a lot less like a chore.
Today, i feel it all coming together. I am me again! And man, it feels good. I feel light, happy, at ease. I don’t know why this sometimes happens–that I lose touch with God and my inner peace–but it’s good to know there’s a way out when it does. Because hey, what a coincidence that when I’m down and out I usually discover that I have cut myself off from God.
Whether you believe in God or not, most of us need something to ground us, something outside of ourselves to give our lives purpose and meaning. Whatever it is, I hope you’ll take that first small step toward re-connection. A moment to meditate, or to visit with a friend. Whatever lifts you, take advantage of it. You deserve to be happy, to feel like your best self. We all do.
I’d love to know what small steps you take to reconnect when you’ve lost touch with your foundation, whatever it is.